Power! Power! Power!

He said to me, "Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak to
you." As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet, and I
heard him speaking to me. He said: "Son of man, I am sending you to the
Israelites, to a rebellious nation that has rebelled against me; they and their
fathers have been in revolt against me to this very day. The people to whom I am
sending you are obstinate and stubborn. Say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign
LORD says.' And whether they listen or fail to listen—for they are a rebellious
house—they will know that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, do
not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns
are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they
say or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious
house. You must
speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen,
for they are
rebellious. But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do
not
rebel like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you."

Ezekiel 2:1-8 (NIV)

When it rains, it pours. God is so good!

God's been revealing to me that I'm a timid, frightened, scaredy-cat Christian. I've been mediocre, average, and unexemplary my whole life. But God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power! Power! Power!

I have within my own, physical frame the very word, breath, life, and power which set the sun ablaze. It set the world on its axis. It set the stars in their places in the sky and named every last one of them. I have at my command the power to tumble mountains into the oceans, restore life to the dead, and cast demonic princes out of their hiding places. I have been given authority by the Lord of the heavenly armies over diseases, bonds, and strongholds. I am an heir to the throne of David, through the blood of Christ, and am the bride to the most powerful groom who ever lived.

And yet, I'm so weak and timid.

I don't truly believe I have access to that power. Some other, more mature Christian does for sure. But me? I'm so young, I dropped out of college after failing four semesters in a row, I can't even keep a consistent quiet time or prayer life. I'm a gossip, a sluggard, a coward, a traitor, and many other things. How can God use me for anything more than medeocrity?

But there's Gideon. The youngest brother in the lowest clan. Yeah, God used him to free Israel.

And Moses. A murderer and idolater. Again, used to set God's people free.

Peter probably wasn't even literate. And he was a coward and traitor. But God built His church on him.

Mary was a whore. And one of Jesus' most faithful.

Jacob was a liar. God brought the entire Hebrew nation up through him.

Esther was reluctant and fearful. Again, God saved the lives of His people through her.

How dare I choose to be a coward when God chooses to use me to be bold. How dare I decide that God's not great enough to use someone like me. If he can turn dirt into a breathing human and can turn leprosy into healthy flesh, if he can summon the nations to him and set demons trembling at the sound of his name, what's so special about me that I can't be used?

Oh, God! Forgive me for my lack of faith, my stubbornness, and my selfishness. I don't know how to be used by you, but you're bigger than my lack of knowledge as much as my lack of faith. Show me, make me obedient to you, and do amazing things through me. You are so worthy of my praise! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!